oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
