i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Randomize
