I'm sorry my penis didn't work
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Randomize
