Pappa wants mamma naked
hell yes lets make some ravioli
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
We talked him into tasing himself.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
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