Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
