I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
