no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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