Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
