You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
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