Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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