It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
