But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
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