If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
No I am not eating basil off your cock
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
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