YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
