this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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