Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
