Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
Help. Why am I so naked?
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