No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Randomize
