Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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