I'm drive I can fine osifer
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Randomize
