It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Randomize
