So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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