Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
