dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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