We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
