apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
