you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
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