Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
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