so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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