Duck Duck Cougar?
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Randomize
