I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
