my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
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