My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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