Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
