i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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