Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
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