New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
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