I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
