toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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