he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
