No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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