i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Randomize