# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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