I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
