I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
jump out the window naked night went bad
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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