She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
