so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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