Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
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