hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize