Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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