Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Randomize