I just pynch a tree in the face
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize