just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Be still, my beating vagina.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
