Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
i need some magic done to my vagina
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
