I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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