i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
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