You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Randomize
