Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
